He wakes up like it’s any other work day, get dressed, skips breakfast, and goes. Nothing out of the ordinary. He sets up his workstation once clocked in.
About ten minutes after the he finishes setting up, the first of many customers for the day come in. As a formality, the customer asks how he is. Tell him the truth and he doesn’t provide the friendly atmosphere his workplace requires, so he lies, knowing most customers aren’t going to really care about what he responds with anyway.
“I’m doing well.” he says, knowing that’s the answer they are expecting.
This goes on for the remainder of his shift. But throughout it, he can’t help but wonder what others think of him. He overhears conversations about people talking bad about others, and he can only wonder what is said about himself.
Actually this goes on throughout the day, at work, in Wal-Mart, his own apartment, literally everywhere. It’s an itch he can’t get rid off, constant thoughts running around his mind like a track.
He walks in public wondering how he is going to embarrass himself that day. He wonders what is wrong with him. What’s wrong with him that no one invites him out anywhere?What’s wrong with him that he just sits in his room all day and doesn’t receive a message from anybody? What’s wrong with him that the person he wants to be with sees a ghost, knowing a person is there but not what the person is like inside?
He wonders if people judge him as bad as he thinks they do.
He wonders why he feels tortured.
He wonders why he feels alone.
He wonders why him.
He feels like he’s done with it all. He feels like if he disappeared no one would notice. He feels like ending it all in one simple minute. He feels like no one would care.
Except many would care.
It turns out that those he thought didn’t care, care deeply. Customers are disappointed when they don’t see him at work. Those who talk about him only speak good things. His effort, his work ethic, his personality, his manners, the list goes on. Sure he becomes clumsy once in awhile. He’’l not be paying attention and trip on a crack in the sidewalk, he may misjudge a step and trip going up the stairs, but no matter how blue things become, he somehow, someway, always recovers. He doesn’t get invited out anywhere because his friends respect his morals and his values. The activities he would be participating in would be against his code, which his friends understand and respect. They don’t know why he has certain stances on certain subjects, but the respect his opinions and his stances.
Above all, he isn’t where he feels. In reality, he’s at the top, not the bottom.
However, he needs reassurance. He needs to be constantly told his friends are there for him. He needs to be told he’s done a great job and his superiors admire his effort. In a world where he feels he’s alone, he’s everything but.
But he needs the reassurance. His anxiety’s cure requires attention, and one person could help him through all of it. She doesn’t know it yet, but she is the answer to his prayers.